


past pure; present tainted; future uncertain

by anon_drabble



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, F/M, Light Angst, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Romance, well feelings are already there but they're not allowed to be together lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26773504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon_drabble/pseuds/anon_drabble
Summary: a sort of childhood au, where jumin met mc when they were young. she was his fondest memory but meeting her again, at the rfa party, he realizes that even that little girl has been stained by everything he hates.in other words, i shamelessly stole the plot from skip beat! and butchered until it suited my interests lol.will contain minor angst but i don't predict anything too heavy. but tags will be updated as further chapters come
Relationships: Han Jumin/Main Character
Comments: 10
Kudos: 38





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> long titles lately from me, lol. this will just be known as "tainted" from me or the tainted series.
> 
> i've been wanting to sort of try to write a slow-burn but i'm not great at longer series. but this idea has actually had a few parts already posted to tumblr and it's developed into its own plot so here we go. this isn't strictly slow burn really but there are delays and obstacles that prevent an immediate happy ending.

The first time he saw her face was at the RFA party. Well, the present her. Her face as a child, smiling and carefree was burned into his memory; his most precious possession. The way she'd looked at him, really and truly  _ at _ him with the complete lack of caring about how society might view the rich child, but also with the easy but heavy respect only children can give to their peers. She cared nothing about his family or his life. She smiled for him and at him alone, the expression untainted in every possible way.

He always remembered that smile.

When he saw the woman at the RFA party, he  _ thought _ he recognized something about her. When he heard her laugh from across the room, he  _ suspected _ he may have met her before. 

But when she smiled, he  _ knew _ .

And when he approached her as Jumin Han but also as the boy she'd once made promise to forever serve her as her knight, he watched her eyes. Waiting for her to recognize him as he had her. 

She smiled at him, met his gaze... And introduced herself. She didn't know, hadn't realized who this man had once been. The smile wasn't the one he knew. It felt heavy with propriety. She was being polite, she was restrained, she saw him as an acquaintance. It was a nice smile but it was weighted in society's rules.

But what hurt was the way her eyes moved quickly from his expensive coat, to the champagne in his hand, to the watch that cost more than her college tuition. She didn't focus on any of those things but she  _ noticed _ them. 

Still, she smiled, and she was beautiful. But it seemed she no longer saw as deeply into him. She wasn't the girl from before. Not entirely.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." The miniscule tightening of his jaw was the only hint of disappointment. He couldn't fault her that much. After all, he had changed as well. But the knowledge that the purest feeling he'd ever known was now tainted…

His chest felt tight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this will likely be told in a back-and-forth style of present vs past. the prologue was the present. this is the past.

There was a path between hedges behind V’s estate and Jumin’s. The land belonged to one of them but the families had a good enough relationship that they didn’t quibble over who specifically owned the spot. It was mostly overgrown and inaccessible by the adults anyways. Jumin and V could slip through the hedges and Jumin in particular often retreated there to read in the afternoons when he didn’t wish to be at home. Or when there was a certain person at home he wished to avoid. The small patch of land was surrounded by hedges where it bordered the estates and a natural border was formed by a small but active creek. Between the creek and the hedges was a natural lawn of soft moss, some flowers, and a spotlight of sun if you visited during the right time of day. It was quiet there and peaceful and it seemed to be a secret only V and Jumin shared.

Until the day that footsteps were heard, following the creek. A girl’s voice called for something to slow down as she forced herself into the private clearing. She noticed Jumin right away and stopped.

“Are you here for the fish?” she asked, her eyes darting to the water.

Jumin shook his head, his book still poised in his lap as she had interrupted.

She glanced at his book. “Oh. Are you at least reading a book about fish?” she asked, trying to peer at the book’s cover.

“No. I simply came here to read. I do not concern myself with fish.”

“That’s a waste,” she said. She jumped over a narrow part of the creek, crossing to where Jumin sat. “You’re dressed fancy to read,” she commented. He was in his uniform still from school which probably did look needlessly over the top to her.

“Reading doesn’t require a dress code,” he replied simply.

She grinned, wide and proud. “That’s right! Neither does looking at the fish! Come, see!” Without waiting, she grabbed his hand, dragging him over to the water.

Jumin had no desire to look at the fish but she had a surprising amount of force, as evidenced by the grass stains on his trousers as she pulled him. He looked into the water as she instructed and just beneath the surface were minnows. As they swam around, the girl was quick to assign them all names, though it would be impossible to recognize one from the other. She chattered on but Jumin wasn’t entirely listening. The sun had shifted and as he looked down at the water, he could see their reflection. He saw himself looking somewhat stiff, like his father. Something V had said to him before as well. But next to him, this girl. Brambles in her curly hair. Casual clothing. The largest, simplest smile he’d seen in his life. She still held his hand as she talked. She talked and acted like a child. She treated Jumin as someone her age, which he was. But he’d never been allowed to be a child like she was.

No one else had ever thought to look at Jumin Han and see him as the young boy he was rather than the son of Chairman Han.

He smiled, gripping her hand, and tried to remember the fish’s names and stories as this girl rattled them off. Truthfully, he cared nothing for the fish and only wished that her smile might never leave her face.


	3. Chapter 3

The memories flooded him the night of the RFA party. Of this girl, the one he’d met in the backyard that day. He watched her as she shuffled about the room. Smiling, laughing, by all accounts, a lovely woman. Jumin had liked her before he realized who she was, when she was just a faceless member who found herself in their chatroom under odd circumstances. The others all grew fond of her. But Jumin now found it impossible to view her as only the present-day version of herself. The adult woman laughed and he heard the girl’s laughter, he remembered the way she’d throw her head back, her entire body laughing with her. The laugh was the same but restrained now. She was restrained. Jumin felt lied to, betrayed. He wished he didn’t remember her. 

Jumin ended up trying to avoid her. She made him uncomfortable, the way he remembered her. But as the night wore on and guests began to leave, the party quieted down. Jumin was in the small kitchen area taking advantage of the leftover food while no one demanded his attention. MC obviously had the same idea. She smiled at him, and again he was struck with the familiarity of it as well as how different it seemed. It was a reflection, almost. The same, but different in indescribable ways that made it somehow wrong. 

“It’s nice to be away from everyone for a bit, isn’t it?” she asked, leaning casually against a counter to eat her plate. 

Jumin simply dipped his head as a nod. “I’m grateful all of Zen’s fans are gone. They often create the most noise.”

She laughed and Jumin inwardly cringed. That laugh just made him remember more and more every time. “You say that as though the press weren’t fussing over you for most of the night.” 

“I did not encourage them to do so.” 

“I think your mere presence encouraged them. Just like Zen’s looks encourage his fans,” she replied thoughtfully. 

He remembered the way her eyes had shifted almost imperceptibly over his suit, his watch. She’d noted his wealth then and now she seemed to be pointing it out again. “I would rather they focus on our cause and the charity.” 

“Next time, I’ll try to cater the guests more towards what we want the focus to be,” she said. “I don’t think I was as effective as I could have been this time, but it’s a lesson I’ll take to the next party.” 

Jumin looked into his glass of wine. “You did well. It was your first party and it has been a success. That was all we asked of you.” 

MC took a few steps forward, toward Jumin. She leaned to get a closer look. “You don’t remember me, do you?” she asked with a smile. 

Jumin blinked in surprise, the smile slamming him at full force. His chest tightened. “I do remember you,” he said softly. “I thought you had forgotten.” 

She shook her head. “I never forgot you. You were my best friend for a long time, even after we had to leave.” 

He looked into her eyes and saw the innocent traces of that girl. She wasn’t the same but maybe enough of her was still there. For the first time, he smiled at her. “I valued our friendship a great deal. Though I cannot take the title of best friend from V,” he chuckled. 

“That’s completely fair. He was there, too, wasn’t he? He played with us sometimes.” 

“Yes, he did. I recall you climbing onto his shoulders to reach a flower on the tree. I could not understand why the flowers on the ground wouldn’t satisfy you, but you wanted the one on the tree.” Talking to her was easy now, remembering those days. She was still bright and cheerful. Though she had seemed different, Jumin must have changed as well. Perhaps it was unfair to judge her so quickly. To write her off despite the fondness he had for her. Being with her now, in the present, she was beautiful and as charming as she had been. 

She laughed at the memory. “Oh, I remember that! I kicked him in the face when I slipped!” She paused, a blush spreading across her cheeks. “I almost fell out of the tree, do you remember? I grabbed the branch when I slipped from his shoulders. But you…” She smiled all the way up to her eyes and he wanted to drown in those eyes. “You ran under me and caught me,” she finished fondly, affectionately. Jumin felt a warmth from her gaze, something he’d never experienced before. He couldn’t place a name to his feeling but he wanted more. More conversation, more of her smile, just more of her. “You were my first love, all those years ago,” she admitted, putting her plate down beside her. “Even though we never knew each other's names. So… it’s nice to meet you. My name is MC.” She extended her hand to shake. 

Jumin held her gaze and took her hand, but brought it to his lips to kiss instead. But rather than just flesh, he felt something sharp poke his lips. She was still blushing, smiling, clearly receptive to his kiss to her hand. But he looked down and saw the ring for the first time. He froze, unable to process or accept what the stone on her ring finger meant. 

She saw him looking at her ring and shyly pulled her hand back. “Oh. I didn’t mention it to you. I’m engaged.” She must have seen how his expression fell, how his smile had disappeared. “It’s an arranged marriage,” she said quickly. “My father introduced us. After we moved, he happened to become drinking buddies with my fiancé’s father, and well… They’re a very well-off family.” 

Jumin stiffened visibly at that. “Congratulations,” he said coldly. He felt as though he’d been slapped. No, more than that. He was destroyed. She had nearly seduced him.. He thought she hadn’t changed but now he was confronted with the ugly truth. Engaged. Already out of his reach. But that wasn’t the knife twisting in his back. It was the way she smiled at her ring. The way she casually brought up the money, the warmth in her voice. After all. He had been right the first time. The little girl he’d known had grown into a woman just like the ones constantly tainting his father. Jumin felt sick to his stomach. The warmth he’d felt for her was now a black hole, eating him alive. “I’m sure they realize how lucky they are,” he said, his words only polite, with no truth behind them. “Be sure to teach your children how to properly climb trees.” 

She awkwardly laughed. She could sense the change in Jumin, though he’d adjusted and had mostly hidden his true displeasure. She guessed he was just embarrassed for being rejected. “Well, I don’t know how much they’ll be allowed to climb trees,” she joked, meaning her future husband would want proper heirs to grow up like Jumin, though if she had her way, she wouldn’t restrict the children. 

To Jumin, her words simply solidified that she wanted money, she wanted the false approval for being wealthy, she wanted her money to define her and her family. Just like all the other women he had known. What a fool for thinking she might have been different. How had he allowed himself to be tricked by her? 

And why did he still see that perfect little girl in her smile, and still experience the flutter in his heart when she looked at him?


	4. Chapter 4

Jumin doubted he'd ever see the girl again after parting ways that night. She'd hended up covered in mud trying to chase the fishes. Even Jumin had scuffed up his clothes somewhat. But it was good, kid fun, something he hadn't been allowed to experience before. But as he and the girl didn't know each other, he very much doubted he'd ever see her again. Still, Jumin returned to that spot as he always had. Not expecting to see anyone, just because it was private and quiet. V would sometimes come when he didn't have something after school. Rarely, he'd see his mother but often his father planned his schedule. Jumin's father had recently found a new woman and was too busy with her to dictate Jumin's free time. 

The day was overcast, threatening rain, but Jumin still visited his spot. It had been a week since he'd met the girl and he had nearly forgotten her already. Until he heard the tell-tale stomping of someone approaching. That was when he remembered how the girl had just showed up, acting like she'd been there many times before. Whoever was coming this time cared nothing for being quiet. When she finally poked her head into the clearing. Jumin was both surprised and somehow not that it was her. She grinned at him as she bounded into the clearing. 

"You're here again!" 

"Yes. I live nearby," he replied. "Do you live near here?" 

She thought for a moment. "Only if you climb through the bushes! If I had to go around, it'd be a lot farther. 

"Today probably isn't the best day for hunting fish," he said, indicating the weather. 

She inspected him and the book he was holding. "What about you? If it rains, won't it ruin your book?" 

Jumin frowned a little. "It's still better to read out here," he murmured, mostly to himself. 

The girl sensed not to pry too much further. "Then… Let's make sure your book won't get wet!" He glanced at her with surprise and doubt. "C'mon! We need sticks and leaves and dirt! You go over there and get some sticks." He gave her a look that said he had no desire to do such a thing. She sighed. "You have to get the sticks because you're the boy. That's the rule." 

He narrowed his eyes but had no desire to argue with her. In truth, he was glad to see her again. He rose to his feet and went to gather sticks as she'd commanded. She pointed to a shrub with a hole in the base where sunlight didn't reach, so the leaves had died and carved out a small section. Jumin began to bring the materials she asked for, mostly sticks and leaves, to the shrub. She laid a slight patchwork-style roof over the hedge with the sticks, covering them with leaves. Once the leaves were layered thickly enough, she and Jumin brought dirt and mud to pat the leaves down. Water from the nearby stream helped further provide a barrier. But soon the clouds rumbled and the girl grabbed Jumin and dragged him inside the hedge cave. She pulled down stems and some leaves to further hollow out the spot but it was still cramped. They sat together, shoulder-to-shoulder, and watched the rain fall. As intended, it stayed drier under the shrub and Jumin was able to keep his book dry. Even if he and the girl had gotten wet running under. 

She grinned at Jumin, water dripping from her bangs. "Well, it's mostly dry in here!" 

Jumin nodded, his own hair flicking water droplets off. "Where did you learn to do something like this?" he asked. 

"I just thought it would be like making a fort out of pillows and blankets. We just used sticks as pillows and leaves as the blankets." He looked doubtful. "Have you never made a fort before?" she asked incredulously. Jumin shook his head. "Oh wow. This isn't the same but it's kind of close. I wish I could make you a real one though." 

"You made me this one," he replied simply. 

"No, we made this one together. But I guess that makes it better, right?" 

"I like it." 

"I like it, too. They’re better with friends,” she said. 

“Friends?” he asked. His only friend was V. 

She put her arm through his and scooted closer to him. "Yeah, friends. I like you so that makes us friends.”

“I see,” he said, feeling a sense of comfort and serenity at her words. "I welcome a new friend."

She looked at him, her bright, wide eyes nearly hypnotizing. “Can we play more sometime?" 

He nodded, a faint smile crossing his lips. "If you'd like," he said, as if there were anything she could ask him that he wouldn't do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 4 appears! i'm really enjoying this somewhat dramatic shift between fluff and angst, past and present, love and hurt. it's really fun which is why these chapters are coming quickly, even if they are varying in length a lot right now. 
> 
> i think this chapter is pretty adorable which i'm glad for because i'm not confident in writing fluff much so if i can see this as cute and sweet, i feel like that's a good sign lol. 
> 
> hope you're enjoying!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back to the present again, at the rfa party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here’s chapter 5 as promised! there’s at least 4-6 more chapters still to go, planned. so there might be some that i didn’t plan that pop up lol.

Still nursing a drink, Jumin was circling the outer crowds of the party. Things were winding down and mostly the only guests left were friends of the members. It was much quieter but in a way, more uncomfortable for Jumin. Acting polite and poised around strangers was easy for him. It was a skill he’d honed since childhood, necessary for business. But around casual acquaintances and friends outside the RFA, he struggled. He couldn’t be polite as he would be to strangers as people would accuse him of being cold or distant. He was expected to behave differently but he wasn’t close enough to treat them as he would the RFA. Those sorts of relationships were hard for him. So he stayed outside of most of the smaller pods of people, walking casually around to acknowledge others when he needed to. He wouldn’t admit it to himself but his feet pointedly avoided the side of the room where MC was huddled with Luciel and Zen. He only allowed himself to be distantly aware of them. Until Zen began protesting something loudly. MC was giggling as Luciel enthusiastically gestured to something between the three of them. Zen sneezed, raising his voice to object whatever was happening between them. He was drawing attention so Jumin changed direction to quiet him down. There weren’t many others there anymore but best to stop Zen before he did anything to ruin his image. Jumin knew how much Zen valued his fans and he would want to avoid embarrassing himself. So Jumin approached them, Luciel and MC laughing while Zen objected. 

As Jumin came closer, he heard the sounds of a recording and saw MC holding her phone in the center of their small circle. “What is happening here? Zen, you are quite loud.” 

“I can’t help it! A-CHOO!” he sneezed, holding his hands in front of his eyes so he didn’t see the phone. 

“MC, play that one next!” Luciel exclaimed. He gave Jumin a goofy grin. “You gotta see this! MC has a cat, too! He might be cute enough to give Elly a run for her money!” 

Jumin grimaced at the nickname. “It’s Elizabeth the Third,” he corrected, though he looked over the shoulders to see the phone’s screen. It was a video of a cat with tabby markings, playfully batting and throwing a toy mouse around. MC could be heard chuckling in the recording at the antics. With one flick of his head, the cat threw the mouse up into the air, causing it to land inside of a potted plant that the cat couldn’t get to. He let out a pained meow, as if the temporary loss of the toy was the greatest tragedy to ever befall him. MC’s hand appeared in frame and took the mouse and tossed it on the ground in front of the cat. He stared up at the camera (likely at MC holding the phone at the time), then at the mouse. He kept his eyes on MC, grabbed the mouse in his mouth, and raced from view, the sound of his claws scratching along the floor. Luciel and MC were laughing at the video, and even Jumin had a smile. 

“See, Zen? Cats are cute!” MC teased, laughing. 

“No way! I hate cats!” he argued. 

“Then perhaps you should join Assistant Kang and discuss your latest musical with her,” Jumin suggested with a faint smile. 

Zen pouted. He seemed unwilling to leave. “But I wanted to talk to MC more…” 

She again laughed. “Not until you learn to love cats!” she shot back playfully, sticking out her tongue. 

Zen wandered off as Luciel again demanded another video. This time, it was the cat sleeping, his paws clawing at the air as he dreamed. Before long, even Jumin was involved, he and MC sharing anecdotes and comparing their cats. Luciel stayed with them for a while but eventually he, too, left, leaving Jumin and MC alone in excited conversation. It was all too easy to talk to a fellow cat-owner and lover. They stayed huddled together, swiping through picture after picture on their cell phones, each appropriately complimenting the other cat. Jumin learned that MC’s cat, named Dumpling, was a bit younger than Elizabeth the Third, and he was very active. Like Elizabeth the Third, MC reported that Dumpling followed her around everywhere. 

“I want to get him a friend because he really loves to play but it’s hard to know what my life will be like in a year or two,” she said, fiddling slightly with the ring on her finger. 

“Luciel has often suggested I get another cat but I don’t believe just any cat will be like my Elizabeth the Third. She is truly special and I do not want her to think she’s being replaced,” Jumin said solemnly. 

MC nodded. “I get that feeling too. I want to give Dumpling a friend but not make him jealous. But he’s still young so I think he’d like a friend.” She shrugged. “But someday I hope I can meet Elizabeth the Third! She looks so soft and sweet in your pictures!” 

Jumin smiled. “She is softer than you are imagining. Perhaps someday you can meet her. Provided you do not treat her as Luciel would.” 

She laughed and shook her head. “No, no! He probably means well but he definitely shouldn’t be let loose around cats.” She gave Jumin an inquisitive look. “You normally have Jaehee cat-sit for you, don’t you? I can always help out if you need. At least you know I already have a cat so I know how to take care of them. I can even come to your apartment if it’s easier. I know it’s stressful for cats to be taken to new places.” 

Jumin thought over her words. To be honest, her idea did sound better than the current situation. “You might be right. I notice that Elizabeth the Third will often shed up to ten more strands of fur at times when she returns from Assistant Kang’s.” 

“Jaehee is responsible but it’s not really her job to watch Elizabeth the Third. I can do it for you so Jaehee can focus on her work. It sounds like it might benefit all of us. Maybe I can bring over Dumpling sometime and they can meet.” 

He nodded thoughtfully. “That does all sound very logical. You speak of it not being Assistant Kang’s job, though. So you are saying that you see this as a job. We will have to discuss your salary. Normally I hire salaried employees, however, as this is an as-needed basis for when I am forced to travel, I would suggest an hourly rate as well as compensation for food and travel time.” Jumin rattled off some numbers for her, giving her a very generous offer. 

“Jumin!” she stopped him, putting a hand on his arm. “It doesn’t have to be a job! I just wanted to help out!” 

“I prefer not to owe favors,” he replied. “Then I will draw up a contract for you to sign. It will contain the terms as well as any restrictions, such as not spreading her photo on social media, do not groom or bathe her too aggressively, et cetera. Does that sound acceptable?” 

MC chuckled softly. “You’d feel more comfortable with me being an employee instead of a friend who helps you out? If it makes you feel better.” 

“Yes, I prefer to pay employees,” he said guardedly. 

“Well. I prefer to do favors for friends, but in this case, I guess being your employee is doing you a favor. Besides, it’ll be fun to spend time together with the cats.” Her smile still made his knees weak. MC left to mingle with the last remaining guest, and soon the RFA were the only ones left. Jumin watched her out of the corner of his eye, suddenly worried about his decision. She was the logical best choice to watch Elizabeth the Third but he had yet again underestimated just how beautiful her smile was and how easy she was to talk to. She was dangerous to him, the threat she poised terrified him deeply. He could not, would not, become his father where women were concerned. But somehow, MC had an ability to form invisible cracks in his armor and seep her way in. But the diamond on her finger flashed and Jumin could guess how much it cost and all he could think of was whether she demanded a ring of that value or above. He sighed to realize how easily she’d agreed to being paid and he felt as though he’d fallen prey to a trap somehow. Jumin had pride and could be a stubborn man but he feared he wouldn’t stand a chance against MC. Not when he heard her laugh. Not when he met her eyes. And especially not when she smiled like that.


End file.
